Temporal Fruit Cat
by Elsanna Potato Corner
Summary: "As it stands, right now that cat is in the way of everyone's happiness...So if you're that intent on proving yourself, your first target is right over there." [Elsanna, canon, time travel AU, multi-dimensional AU, icest, crack]


**NOTE:** This was just a goofy thing we did on the side that eventually gained a life of its own, so expect plenty of crack and random situations! Additionally, for this fic in particular, everyone was limited to writing **only one** sentence per turn. As such, it's hard to tell who contributed, so **_specific_** credits will not be given this time around.

But many thanks to those who _did_ contribute!

* * *

It was a sunny day out.

Anna was walking through town when she found an adorable little black cat chilling by a shop. The poor thing looked half-starved and covered in wounds, like it had recently been in a fight. Blue eyes locked onto hers as the cat huddled closer to the brick wall.

Holding her hand out to the animal, Anna said softly, "Hey there, little guy." The cat stretched out to take a few tentative sniffs, tail twitching, before bumping its head against her fingers with a quiet 'merw'. Her other hand immediately flew to her mouth, clamping over it to prevent an excited squeal from escaping at how _adorable_ that was.

The beast inched closer to her, knocking its furry head more solidly against her hand and meowing louder as it did so. Taking that as a hint, Anna started gently scratching the feline behind the ears and cooed as it started to purr faintly, "Oh, Elsa would just love you!" Carefully, she scooped the cat into her arms, never ceasing in her gentle scratching.

A gasp came from behind Anna and a voice said, "Your Highness, you shouldn't be handling that creature!" Anna turned hesitantly to see Gerda running towards her, looking at the banged up cat in horror as it started growling at all the commotion.

"Gerda, what are you even doing here?" Anna asked—she couldn't think of any reason why the motherly servant would be out in the town at this time.

"My evil detector was tingling—I MEAN, I was stopping in town for some krumkake, Your Highness!" the trusted servant explained. "Now why don't you put that dem- I mean- cat down and come back to the castle?"

"Oh, but Elsa has _got_ to see how adorable it is!" Anna insisted, turning in the direction of the castle.

"Now wait just one second, Princess Anna!" the servant cried, moving to stop the younger woman from leaving but finding herself immobile as the cat fixed her with a silent stare. She could've sworn she saw the beast's lips twitch into a smirk before it purred loudly and rubbed its head against the Princess' shoulder.

"Did you stop her?" a tired voice asked from her right as Gerda watched the princess excitedly run back to the castle, and she turned her head to see a cloaked figure peering from a nearby alley, teal eyes narrowed from behind a fringe of red hair.

"I don't mean to be rude, but does it look like I stopped her?" Gerda responded, gesturing to the retreating princess.

The cloaked figure cursed under her breath, "Go after her quickly, and make sure that cat doesn't go anywhere near the Queen!"

"Maybe all of this could've been avoided if you hadn't found the beast in the first place," the servant huffed, placing her hands on her hips, "Honestly, Princess Anna, you would've had more luck stopping your past self than I."

"I can't stop myself because if I tried to do so it might… I don't know, cause an imbalance in the…er...whatever!" was the exasperated reply, the hood flying off to reveal the other Princess Anna's red face.

Then, suddenly; pineapples.

More specifically, a runaway cart of pineapples zipped past them, nearly running over the redhead.

Then, suddenly; coconuts.

"THE KINGDOM IS LOST!" a panicking townsperson screamed shrilly, running around in circles as pineapples and coconuts bounced free from the carts, bowling over those unlucky enough to get in the fruits' way.

The princess narrowed her eyes at the incoming fruits, and smoothly unsheathed a sword hidden beneath her cloak, its blade gleaming proudly as she crouched in preparation for her strikes.

The first salvo of fruits began to fall.

As the fruits' guts splattered along the street, Anna wondered out loud, "Wait, why am I wasting time chopping away at fruit when I should be going after the other me and saving her from the clutches of that evil cat?"

Meanwhile, Gerda hurried after the other Princess Anna, following her back to the castle.

Then, suddenly; nuclear fallout. Or, rather, fruitclear fallout.

Deciding to leave the cat to Gerda, hoping the woman would be able to stop the beast in time before it could corrupt the queen, Anna resumed her task of fighting the onslaught of fruits. Thankfully this wasn't Arcade Mode, so she didn't have to worry about any bombs thrown into the mix.

 _KABOOM!_

Spoke too soon.

But can a high score be achieved? Only one way to find out.

* * *

"What was that?" Anna mused to herself as she paused just beyond the castle gates, glancing back at the town with her brow furrowed at what sounded like...explosions?

"MEOOWW," the cat said loudly, swatting her face to draw her attention back to it. She did so, smiling at the adorable creature—she just couldn't resist! Anna couldn't wait to show the kitty to her sister. Now the only problem was _finding_ Elsa…

It actually wasn't too big of a problem, and being a detective thankfully wasn't a requirement because Elsa was always in an easy to find location, such as her study or wherever queenly duties would most likely be taken care of. Nodding to herself after waving to the guards on her way in, Anna decided to check the queen's study first.

With the cat nestled comfortably in the crook of her arms, Anna walked the distance to the study, all the while cooing to the cat how much Elsa would love it!

"I would love what?" her sister's voice drifted to her ears, and Anna looked up to see Elsa standing just outside of her study, flashing the redhead a small smile as she dismissed Kai with a wave of her hand. The portly servant hurried off; a pile of papers clutched to his chest.

Rushing over to the queen, Anna held up the cat for her to see. "Look! Isn't it absolutely adorable?"

"Princess Anna, nooooooooo!" a voice shrieked, and when the sisters shockingly looked in the direction of the scream they saw Gerda charging at them.

Seeing the cat stretch it's paw to touch the Queen, Gerda made a running leap—taking the young royals by surprise, given her age—reaching out to take the offending creature by the neck, whilst screaming, "It cannot be allowed to touch Her Majesty!"

The cat hissed at the woman as it was torn from Anna's arms and struggled in Gerda's grasp before going limp and wailing pitifully, aiming sad kitty eyes at the two royal sisters for them to rescue it.

"Gerda, what is the meaning of this?" Elsa demanded, her brow furrowing in confusion.

Anna nodded furiously, glaring unhappily at the servant and said, "Why are you treating that adorable, innocent animal so horribly?"

"Because it was the sole reason for Arendelle's downfall," a new voice spoke up from somewhere behind the two royals, "Or rather...it _will_ be."

Startled by the familiarity of the voice, Elsa spun around. "A-Anna… but, HOW?"

Present Anna gaped at her doppelganger in utter astonishment, pointing fingers at her and stuttering, "Wha… who… I don't… WHAT?"

Another Anna stood before them, though she was garbed in a dark cloak with some armor peeking out from beneath; a sword hung at her side, which she laid a hand upon while glaring at the cat.

"Wow," the stunned queen breathed out, sweeping her eyes over the new Anna with intense interest. She noted a scar along this Anna's left temple, and how her coppery hair was much longer. Her heart skipped a beat when those teal eyes flicked over to meet hers, both familiar and _un_ familiar—there was a certain hardness, a certain fire there that her present Anna lacked.

The new Anna reached out towards Gerda, who handed the now frantically struggling feline over, and gave the Princess and Queen a small bow. They both blushed at the unexpectedly elegant action—with Elsa experiencing a strange feeling in her chest, and Anna wondering how she could possibly reach that level of coolness.

"It's so good to be able to see you Sister," the other Anna commented as she rose from her bow, "I was worried I would be too late to stop this demon from taking over again."

She flashed a warm smile, a certain tenderness in her eyes, and Elsa's cheeks heated further. Beside her Anna huffed softly and frowned at her more attractive double, who gave her a reproachful look in return that had Anna burning in shame for some reason.

"Wait...what happened, exactly?" Elsa asked, furrowing her brow as she steered her focus back to the matter at hand, and not...the way the other Anna was looking at her.

"I'm not quite sure the mechanics myself," Anna answered humbly, turning her devoted gaze back to the Queen and smiling, looking slightly lovestruck, "This cat somehow managed to make you go crazy and you ended up freezing half the country."

The present Anna's head whipped back and forth as she looked at her sister, then her future self...then her sister again—her throat tightened a bit at the sheer _love_ in her doppleganger's gaze. Anna loved her sister more than anything else yet she was far too scared to let that show— this Anna had no reluctance about it at all and Anna watched in stunned silence as her future self handed the cat back to Gerda just to boldly lay a kiss on the back of Elsa hand, "You're as beautiful as always, my darling Queen."

"A-Anna…" Elsa stammered out for lack of anything better to say, her skin tingling from where the redhead's lips had reverently pressed against them.

Anna's jaw tightened, her blood boiling with jealousy at how smoothly her other self could woo Elsa into a stuttering, blushing mess, and to prevent the love of her life from swooning into future Anna's arms, she briskly stomped forward and planted herself in front of the queen to stake her claim, saying snippily, "Excuse you."

"Don't you mean excuse _me_?" her other self quipped, arching an eyebrow as her lips tugged into a brief smirk.

Furrowing her brow deeply, hardening her gaze into a fierce glare, and clenching her fists tightly, Anna replied, "Look, just because _your_ Elsa went crazy doesn't mean you can come here and steal **_MY_** Elsa!"

"Your Highness—" Gerda tried to say, hoping to calm them both, before she was interrupted.

"You keep out of this, you treasonous wench," Anna hissed, jabbing a finger in Gerda's direction, narrowing untrustworthy eyes at the servant and snapping, "I bet this whole 'Oh my god, this cat is evil' thing is just some tactical ploy you all made up to try and take Elsa away from me, and I'm telling you right now," she went on, standing closer to the future Anna so they were nose to nose and breast to breast, "I will fight tooth and nail anyone who comes between me and my love!"

The last word seemed to echo in the hallway they were in as silence descended upon them in the wake of her impassioned words.

Elsa stood there, and if it weren't for her upbringing—raised to be the Queen—she would have been stammering wildly with her mouth flapping like a fish; instead she was just trapped in her own thoughts, ' _She… she couldn't possibly feel the same way, could she? No… that's impossible..._ '

The other Anna scoffed, drawing the attention back to her as she dryly remarked, "As it stands, right now that cat is in the way of everyone's happiness...So if you're that intent on proving yourself, your first target is right over there."

Unamused, Anna crossed her arms and blankly looked at the cat and said flatly, "It's just a cat; I don't see what's so horrible and dangerous about it!"

"Looks can be deceiving, Your Highness," came the response from Gerda, "that is no mere cat." The servant grabbed the cat by the ear and pulled it hard... yanking the cat's entire head off, which was revealed to be nothing more than an elaborate mask!

The mask having been pulled off, whatever magic had been housed in it swirled around the fake cat, shifting the creature into something more humanoid...until—the previously thought to be dead—King Agdar of Arendelle stared back at them, now carried bridal-style by Gerda, whose arms strained under the sudden increase in weight.

"Father!?" three utterly stunned voices chimed in at once.

First to recover, the Anna from the future drew her broadsword, grabbing Agdar by the collar with her other gauntleted hand and dragging him to stand in front of her, pressing her blade to his throat, growled, "Why? How could you do this to her… did you not torture her enough while she was still growing up? You couldn't just leave her be…"

"Because she failed me," Agdar spat, "I wasted a good portion of my life teaching her to 'conceal, don't feel', and what does she do but expose herself to the entire kingdom!"

Her ire risen, the Anna from this time snarled at her… _Father_ , "Yes, you taught her 'conceal, don't feel'... and look how well that turned out—she needed to learn control of her emotions, not to try to shut them off; that's why she nearly froze the kingdom—because _YOU_ failed to understand what she really needed, LOVE and compassion and understanding, not isolation and neglect."

Agdar snorted out a laugh. "What do you know—you're just the spare!"

Elsa wrapped one arm protectively around Anna's shoulder, the other hand pointing straight at Agdar's exposed chest from the side, and in an eerily cold, hard, calm voice stated, " _Spare?_ She is no mere spare—she is the one who held this kingdom together when I abandoned it, overwhelmed by fear of hurting her and having exposed my powers to all and sundry. It was her everlasting love and devotion for me that allowed Arendelle to come back from the disaster wrought by your ridiculous mantra. After all these years, I still remember the words of the troll from that fateful night, 'There is beauty in your magic… But also great danger. You must learn to control it. Fear will be your enemy.'"

"The trolls were wrong," Agdar said, flashing an ugly smirk, and all of a sudden they were all surrounded by an array of fruits that had stealthily snuck up on them during their conversation, "because it is not fear that will be your enemy, but my minions of fruits!"

In a brief moment of quiet, the young royals started to hear a soft chanting in the distance, slowly growing louder, "O-re-o, ore-o.. o-re-o, ore-o…"

Future Anna brandished her sword to prepare for round two of a fruitacular fight but the repeated chanting caused her to gasp aloud and her stomach growled as she said, "I could go for some Oreos right about now."

But now wasn't the time to be thinking of delicious snacks—she had Zen Mode to finish!

"I am sick of these mother-fudging fruits, in my mother fudging way!" the sword yielding Anna yelled, leaping forward and slicing and dicing the barrage of fruits into a fruit salad with vigor.

Meanwhile, the Anna _without_ a sword noticed a glowing rune on the back of their father's neck as he laughed, taunting her future self. She squinted at the peculiar marking, wondering what it was and why it was there, and she tugged on her sister's arm to bring the abnormal symbol to the queen's attention—attention that she couldn't help but notice was transfixed on the warring redhead…

Unable to get Elsa's attention that way, she decided to do something drastic… fuelled by her jealousy, putting one hand to Elsa's cheek and the other behind her head, she pulled her in and kissed her... hard.

Elsa froze at the sudden contact, at Anna's warm lips pressed against her own. But her willpower was already gone—she'd long known that if Anna ever displayed affection to show that her love was requited, she would forever be at the redhead's mercy—without any thought, she instinctively wrapped her own hand around the nape of Anna's neck and returned the kiss with fervor.

"Your Highness, Your Majesty, is this _really_ the time?" Gerda hissed, pulling them apart and directing their attention back to Anna's future self fending off the horde of fruit conjured by their—previously—late father.

"It's true love, so just let them go at it!" a busy maid commented as she squeezed by and got to work sweeping up the bodies of slain fruit that littered the floor. Just another day in Arendelle, after all—while the main characters had their fun, background characters like her had to clean up after them...

The young royals, seeing that the Oreo knights had begun to engage the fruit army from the flank, and future Anna solidly holding her own against the fore of the assault, leaned back in for a short kiss before Elsa pulled away giving Anna the largest cheshire cat grin possible. "Not that I mind at all, but what was that for?" she asked, and the lovestruck grin that had been on Anna's face vanished as she remembered the glowing rune on Agdar's neck.

"W-w-well… ummm…" Anna stammered out—face flushing darkly, "T-two reasons… not that they're necessarily in order of importance, because they're not… they just aren't… right, the reasons—the first is that da-Agdar has this weird glowing thing on the back of his neck."

"A glowing thing?" Gerda exclaimed from beside them, rolling up her sleeves in preparation to fight, "Why didn't you mention that earlier? Your father must be possessed, then!"

"I was trying to, but I couldn't get Elsa's attention… b-because… w-well…" Anna's jaw tightened and her eyes narrowed even as she choked on her venomously spewed words, "S-she was t-too busy staring at the _OTHER_ Anna!"

"Why Elsa, I'm flattered!" her future self called back as she fought, blade a whirlwind of movement as she spared a wink in their direction and caused the blonde to blush again, "Though I could really use some help over here!"

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! Listen up, you… you… you trollop, _she is MINE!_ " Anna roared and stalked over to twin and wrenched the sword from her hands, cutting in front of her and facing the fruits herself with the intention of winning Elsa over and showing the other Anna who was boss.

A coconut promptly whacked her in the head.

And then tomatoes.

Followed by a salvo of peaches.

But Anna wasn't going to let mere fruits—least of all PEACHES—stop her, so she swung the sword up to begin her attack… and it flew out of her hands.

A watermelon hit her in the face, effectively knocking her out and sending her flying to the floor.

"ANNA!" Elsa cried out in a panic, instantly rushing to her fallen sister's side and scooping the sticky, fruit-smelling princess her into her arms. The other Anna immediately lunged for the fallen sword, grabbing it and bringing it up just in time to deflect a fresh barrage of fruits that were aimed towards them.

"MUAHAHAHH," Agdar laughed maniacally and did some strange hand movements, his palms glowing magically and forming a bowl of milk that could spew an endless supply of the white liquid, which he blasted at the Oreos.

The Oreo knights prepared to defend themselves against the calcium catastrophe heading their way, but Gerda stepped in front of them, taking on a martial arts stance with her feet spread apart and her fist punching through the milk attack. The milk stream divided and harmlessly splattered on the walls and the trickling droplets distracted Agdar, who dropped the bowl of milk for some reason in favor of licking the fluid off the walls, apparently still influenced by his cat ways.

He _was_ a temporal fruit-cat, after all.

With Agdar's attention fixated elsewhere, Gerda was able to sneak up behind him and grab him by the nape of his neck, squeezing the area where the gleaming rune was with all her might. The former king yowled much like how a cat would, trying to twist around and shake her off, but Gerda held fast. Without weakening her hold on the man, she dipped down and swiped up the bowl of milk previously in his possession and fired it at his face at close range. Successfully distracted, she finally tugged off the rune with a grunt, holding the glowing magical symbol high above her head.

"What sorcery is this?" she wondered aloud, letting go of Agdar, who thumped to the floor with a splat.

"Sorcery?!" Duke Weselton exclaimed, peeking his toupee-covered head out from a nearby window, "Did someone say _sorcery?!_ "

A juicy, ripe tomato exploded above his pointy nose, smearing across his glasses and the thrower, future Anna, yelled at him while at the same time not pausing for even a heartbeat in the intense fight she was in, "Get lost, Weaseltown!"

" _It's Weseltoooonnnnnnn…!"_ the man screamed as he fell from the window and into the fjord, causing a large splash that could be heard even from inside.

With Weselton out of the picture, and Agdar motionless in the puddle of milk on the floor upon the removal of the rune, Gerda closely examined the object to figure out its origins and who was behind it. Written on the glowing rune in an even brighter glow was the name 'Nils Norberg'.

"This can't be right; how can that little rascal be responsible for this?" Gerda pondered, scratching her head at the oddness of a troublemaking child being the mastermind behind… well, everything that had happened! But then again...it was always the quiet ones, as the saying goes!

While Gerda was busy with the rune, Elsa was frantically trying to wake up her knocked out princess as fruits and cookie pieces pummeled her back. The future Anna seemed to finally be tiring; allowing bits and pieces to slip through her defenses to hit the two behind her.

And then a blinding _FLASH_ filled the hall, everyone pausing whatever they were doing to shield their eyes from the intense brightness, and when the light faded and disappeared, in its place was a woman wearing nothing but a towel…

A _very familiar_ woman, at that.

The woman, who looked remarkably just like the beloved queen of Arendelle, coughed and blinked numerous times as if to clear her vision, and when she raised her head and noticed the crowded hallway and the chaos taking place, she stiffened and widened her eyes frighteningly, clutching her towel tighter to her.

"Wh-What's happening?" this not-Elsa squeaked, face reddening at the appreciative gazes her way, "Where's Anna?"

Badass sword-wielding Anna leaped over the mushy cookie-smoothie crap that drenched the floor and landed in front of the toweled Elsa, placing her back to her and declaring while shooting a lopsided smile over her shoulder, "Your Anna is not here, I'm afraid, and this is not a safe place for you, but fear not because I will protect you!"

"HEY!" the present Anna nearly screeched, apparently waking up from her unconscious state to glare and point accusingly at her older double, "Back off from Elsa!"

"This isn't even _YOUR_ Elsa, so why don't _YOU_ back off?" future Anna retorted, squeezing the hilt of her sword in irritation. Tears threatened to gather at the corner of her eyes as she continued, " _My_ Elsa's been reduced to an ice-crazy tyrant because of that stupid cat, and she...she can't even recognize me anymore."

Following her sob-story, the room was shrouded with the sounds of sympathetic weeping, the strange noises coming from the fruits and Oreos… because they have feelings too!

"On the contrary, Elsa _can_ recognize you," Agdar coughed from his spot on the floor, waking up from his own unconscious state and trying to get up, only to have Gerda plant a firm foot against his back, pushing him to the milk puddle again as he continued, "I...that is, the future me, can only control her physical actions—we can't control her mind itself...just like how Nils controlled us."

"Who is this Nils you speak of?" the older Anna demanded sharply, striding over to the prone man and aiming the tip of her sword at the side of his neck.

"Oh, Anna...how much you've grown," Agdar softly remarked, his gaze softening, and her sword faltered at the forlorn tone of his voice.

But she caught herself, learning from past mistakes not to so easily trust others, and steadied her aim, eyeing the man warily and ordering, "Explain yourself."

"Seriously, what is going on here?" towel Elsa asked, but everyone ignored her in favor of watching the developments unfolding around the two. It's a good thing, too, because a random squirrel entered the scene and ripped the towel from her, dashing away too quickly for the towel-time-traveling Elsa to get it back from it. Thankfully, she could still conjure an ice dress to clothe herself, but that was her favorite towel, damn it!

Not to mention it was her only way of returning back to her time…

"It was Nils!" Agdar nearly sobbed from the other side of the hallway, "Nils Norberg, that dreadful boy from the spring pageant!"

"That can't possibly be true," present Anna chimed in, pushing herself up into a sitting position and leaning heavily against her Elsa, "Nils is the sweetest boy; he couldn't be behind such dastardly deeds!"

"He is no boy—he's a demon that's over a thousand years old!" their father insisted, "He caused the storm that sunk our ship!"

"If this is true, then he must be stopped," Elsa declared, putting her arms around Anna and assisting her up. The other Anna didn't move from her spot, glaring down at the former king with obvious mistrust in her eyes.

Without taking her eyes, or sword, off of him for a second, she motioned for Gerda to get off him and said sternly, "Answer me truthfully so that I can save you from his spell: where can this demon be found?"

"The North Mountain—where else?" Agdar answered as he rose to his feet, wobbling a little as he tried to regain his balance, "All...All timelines in this world converge there at its very peak."

The present Anna blinked quizzically, "Wait, you mean Elsa's North Mountains?"

Blinking quizzically seemed to be a family trait with how Agdar copied her, answering with a question of his own, "What does the North Mountain have to do with Elsa?"

"That's where she built her ice palace," future Anna said, and after a brief pause she inserted thoughtfully, "She has some pretty nice peaks."

"Ohhh...you mean where she sang 'Let It Go'," Gerda interjected, tapping a finger to her chin, "The whole town heard that one."

"Y-you're kidding me," Elsa squeaked, eyes widening.

"We heard it all, dear."

"Waaaiiit a minute," Anna said slowly, "how is it possible that you guys heard her singing all the way back here, but I didn't hear a damn thing and I was much closer than her?!"

"Wrong side of the mountain, I suppose," Gerda answered with a nonchalant shrug, "The breeze must've carried her singing away from you, instead."

Future Anna interjected, "As much as I'd love to chat about how marvelous Elsa's singing ability is, we really need to start moving and take down this Nils, whoever he may be."

"I already told you, he's the boy from the spring pageant!" Agdar groaned, "Well, I mean he's technically a demon, but he's not a _total_ stranger to you, at least! Or...Or are my memories not lining up like they should? I can't recall if this is the cat's memories or my own..."

Sheathing her sword, other Anna stood tall and addressed everybody in the room, "Here's the deal, I'm going to recruit everyone capable of being useful to assist me in dealing with this demon, so that means Gerda, any Elsas, the fruits, Oreos, and Agdar, provided he can be trusted," she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Speaking of Agdar," Gerda began, as if they hadn't already been speaking of him before, "Where is Idunn in all of this? Or more importantly, how in the world are you not dead?!"

"Well," Agdar drawled, "I told her to wear her seatbelt, but she refused to listen to me and when you disregard safety so blatantly, one of the things that usually happens is you perish horribly, and it also helps if you can hold your breath underwater for a ridiculously long time!"

He vaguely recalled a portal appearing out of nowhere and Nils Norberg plucking him away from certain death, but that didn't seem like an important detail; not at all.

"Excuse me," the maid said politely, mopping Agdar's feet and the area around him to soak up the milk spill and mumbling under her breath about how she wished they could move their fight/discussion/whatever-the-heck-it-was-at-this-point outside so she could keep the castle clean and tidy!

"Main characters...honestly!" she huffed as the cast finally left the hallway to move on to whatever plot important scene was next, "They think they can do whatever they want just because they have names...Bah!"

And so, after being disrupted by the nameless maid, everybody—Elsa, Anna, Agdar, Gerda, Future Anna, confused Towel-traveling Elsa, the fruits that survived other Anna's slaughter, and the Oreos—converged to the royal bedroom to continue their important conversation on finding and defeating Nils Norberg on the massively comfy bed which had an impossibly large load of pillows flooding the top of it.

A veritable pillow nest, indeed. Adgar burrowed underneath the pillows and his loud purring shook the whole bed.

"Okaaaaaayy...Is he going to keep up the cat thing forever?" Anna asked, pointing in Agdar's direction, "Or will it wear off once we defeat Nils?" She made a very undignified "Oof" as a pillow smacked her across the head.

"Watch yourself," future Anna nearly growled to their father, a hand resting on the hilt of her sword as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Pillow fight!" Agdar yelled, giggling girlishly, and another pillow came sailing out of the pile towards the other Anna. She sliced it in half with her sword; the fluidity of the action causing Elsa's cheeks to flush a little again at how amazing Anna could be.

Present Anna, naturally, noticed the tinge of color added to her sister's cheeks and the person who captured her attention, and fueled by her immense jealousy she snatched up some pillows and WHAMMED future Anna with them hard.

"I see my work here is done," Agdar sighed, burrowing himself in the pillow nest once more as the two versions of his youngest daughter engaged in a furious pillow fight.

The other Elsa scowled, rapidly losing her patience with the display. "Will someone PLEASE just tell me what is going on!" She shouted...only to have a pillow thrown into her face to shut her up.

And then there was an explosion of pillows everywhere…

"For heaven's sake, do I have to do everything myself?" Gerda huffed, walking out the door to head for the North Mountain with the fruits and Oreo knights in tow.

With present Anna struggling in a strong headlock, future Anna called out to Gerda, "Let me just take care of this one here and I'll be right behind you!"

"I...think I'll go with her too," the Elsa-who-had-previously-lost-her-towel-but-gained-it-back-offscreen said, inching her way to the door.

Present Elsa, finally noticing her sister's predicament, turned to address future Anna with a dark glare and spat, "Let Anna go _NOW!_ "

"She has to promise to stop yelling at me or throwing things at me all the time!" the older redhead shouted back.

"Then you need to stop trying to steal _MY ELSA_ from me!"

"If Elsa likes me, then that's on her!" future Anna countered.

Slapping a hand to her forehead with a groan, Elsa said exasperated, "Can't you two learn how to share?"

"N-No, I won't… I-I can't… I-I… I love you," present Anna declared, tears brimming the corner of her eyes. "And I...I don't want to share—not when I finally got you back after so long!"

"Hey, what about me?!" Kristoff shouted from somewhere in the town, but everyone ignored him because _really_. Who even was this Christopher, anyway?

"Well…" future Anna began, voice careful and even as she locked eyes with the queen, "sharing might not be that bad of an idea...if you really think about it."

"Not bad at all," Elsa murmured coyly in agreement with a small nod, a secret smile curving the corner of her lips upwards.

"So, does this mean I get to join in on the fun?!" Kristoff yelled out.

Everyone ignored him, of course—he wasn't that important, anyway.

"No, you don't get any dibs on Elsa," Anna ground out through clenched teeth, "because I didn't climb up a freaking mountain to rescue her just so I could share her with my show-off, cooler than me, future self, so when I finally get a chance to make sweet love to her for the first time she will only feel my hands and my mouth worshipping every inch of her body—not yours!"

Elsa's face warmed up immensely as she tried to steady herself from Anna's proclamation.

Not one to back down from a challenge, future Anna scrambled over to Elsa and knelt down on one knee. She gently grasped the Queen's right hand and placed a feather like kiss on it. Present Anna was about to have a field day but her other self cut her off.

"My Queen! Your mind, heart, and soul are all that I live and breathe for!" Future Anna confidently made dramatic hand gestures to intensify the situation. "And stating such," she paused for effect and glared at the other redhead in the room who seemed to have fresh steam coming out of her ears, "I challenge present day Anna for your attention!"

As flattered as Elsa was, and not to mention slightly turned on, she tried to do damage control between the Annas.

"Now, now let's not be too hasty—"

"I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE FIEND! AND GET YOUR BLOODY HANDS OFF OF HER!"

Elsa sighed as present Anna lunged at future Anna only to engage in another ruff and tumble. Knowing there would be no getting through to these knuckleheads, she conjured up a snow cone to pass time.

Testicles.

The word randomly popped into her head - probably because the snow cone had two scoops on it, and probably because the two Annas were displaying the female equivalent of the saying, 'you can practically feel the testosterone in the air'.

After several intense minutes of grappling by the redheads, future Anna started to show signs of fatigue at which present Anna, fuelled by a rush of adrenaline, capitalized upon by trapping the other's right arm between her thighs—crossing her legs to maintain control—while reaching both arms around the other's face and joining her hands together, fingertips curled around each other to lock them together, then pulled back as far as she could to exert pressure on the shoulder and neck of future Anna.

"Say she belongs to me!" regular Anna demanded with a growl.

Future Anna, her shoulder discernibly strained—arm nearly pulling out of it's socket, screamed out, "Y-Yield… I-I yield... S-She… belongs… to… Y-YO-YOU!"

Sitting up triumphantly, present Anna let her fallen foe go with a look of victory on her face. She was more smug than anything.

"You're damn right she is mine!" Present Anna felt a sense of exhilaration after winning her duel, and it seemed to stir something inside her. Something that has been locked away for a really long time now. Skipping over to Elsa, who was still in the midst of eating her snow cone, she swept her sister up into her arms, bridal style. Then, feeling bold, she bent down and captured those sweet, sweet lips in a fierce kiss.

Agdar—who was still buried in the pillow nest like the temporal fruit cat he was—pointedly ignored the kiss happening nearby, opting instead to sneak a hand out to poke future Anna in the side.

Having retrieved her sword, she spun around nearly taking off one of his ears, and hissed, "What do _you_ want?"

He ignored her nasty attitude and began licking his soft paws. "Can't believe you lost to the likes of her."

Future Anna growled, ready to cut this cat in half. She was already irritated that she had lost her little duel. She _never_ lost.

But True Love was a very powerful thing that not even she could come between…

 _Right, on that note, I need to focus on dealing with Nils and Agdar_ — _my Elsa awaits me, and if we can fix the timeline, then she should be back to normal and we can catch up where we left off before that demon influenced her._

"Cue the next scene!" Agdar hissed from his pillow nest, ducking his head just in time as the future Anna swung her sword again.

And so the scene change commenced, with a flurry of snowflakes and wind and a high aerial view of the famous ice castle where the infamous song that everyone and their mother knows was sung. The camera slowly zoomed in on a small procession of figures trudging through the snow, revealing Gerda in the lead. Unfortunately most of the fruits withered and didn't make it very far during the journey up the mountain, but their bodies did not go to waste, Gerda eating what she could. Eating them seemed to give her power-ups, granting her an immunity to the cold, increased strength, and various other buffs that had yet to be revealed.

Still confused about what the hell was going on, towel Elsa trudged along behind her, the cold seemingly not affecting her one bit even with her pretty much naked. She did, however, appreciate how the Oreo knights gathered around her to keep the wind from blowing the towel off her body.

Though even the protection the Oreos provided almost didn't help when a giant ice dragon swooped down from the sky, flapping its wings and creating such a gust it almost sent the cookies over the edge of the cliffs.

 _"_ _Bonu!"_ it roared, baring its frosted fangs, _"Hei los ni valokein het!"_

Clutching the towel tighter around her frame, Elsa cursed herself, because despite her practicing many different languages and becoming very fluent in them, she was not familiar with dragon speak…

"Wrong series, you idiot!" Gerda shouted, apparently unfazed by the dangerous creature that could very well kill them, " And I don't care if we're not welcome—you better tell Nils we're coming for him anyway!"

The dragon glared menacingly at her to try and intimidate her, but Gerda glared right back without blinking until the dragon huffed in defeat and, with a stomp of its giant legs, it pushed off into the air and flew towards the castle. A flick of its tail snapped off one of the spires, sending it falling in their direction, and Elsa swore she could see the creature spare a dragon-ish smirk over its shoulder as it continued its flight to the very, very peak of the North Mountain.

"On we go then," Gerda grunted, waving on the Oreos, whatever straggling fruits remained and towel Elsa, whom she gave a lingering glance and questioned, "Are you going to wear that the whole time…?"

"It's my thing," she answered, almost indignantly, "How else will the readers be able to distinguish me from the other Elsa?"

Well, that was true but… "It's not exactly fighting material—wait, you ARE here to help fight, right?" Gerda questioned.

This Elsa's gaze slowly slid to the side, biting at her lip, and that was enough of an answer for the portly servant. Gerda scowled and slapped a hand to her forehead, wondering out loud, "Why in the world would you come all the way out here if you had no intention of helping?"

"Maybe because I have to get back to my own world somehow?" the blonde answered with a question of her own, continuing, "I understand that Nils is causing trouble for all of you, but there might be something up there that could get me back home since that squirrel messed with my towel's functions."

"That may be so but with the army we have right now," Gerda said sourly, surveying those around her, "we don't stand much of a chance in defeating him…"

"All you need is a proper army," another voice spoke up, and the servant slapped her forehead again at its familiarity, turning her head to see...another Elsa, dressed in a Victorian-style suit.

Where the hell were all these other Elsas coming from?

"All timelines converge at the peak—of course the worlds would mingle here while Nils keeps his machine going," yet another voice spoke up, and Gerda nearly groaned at the sight of a different Elsa standing nearby, garbed in some long white coat, blue trousers, and a pair of goggles atop her head.

"I see," Gerda said, and she considered herself very lucky that there were more Elsas popping up and not Annas, because the latter were much more… difficult to handle, and imagining more than two of them existing was giving her a terrible migraine.

Concept!Anna—who was currently hiding behind a nearby rock—slowly snuck off screen after stifling a sneeze, her expression sheepish. Though she didn't make it very far—she tripped over a loose branch and cried out, "Aaaahhh!"

"Can you not right now? I'm trying to read up on Justin Timberlake's new love interest," an annoying voice piped in. Concept!Anna looked up from the ground to see another version of Elsa sitting on a high rock like she owned the area around her.

"Which Elsa are you?" Concept!Anna asked nursing her elbow.

"I'm Primadonna!Elsa," she responded rolling her eyes and snapping the bubblegum in her mouth for emphasis. The scantily dressed woman licked her perfectly manicured index finger and flipped another page of her magazine.

"Oh, shove off... if you aren't here to fight, get out of here," came a taunt from behind her, uttered by an Elsa wearing brown and black leather armour consisting of breastplate, pauldrons with arm-cuffs for mobility, tasset skirt with engraved leather plates, bracers, and greaves while wielding an icy bastard sword with one hand.

"And you think I want to be here? Spare me. I was happily minding my own business until some damned TV show came on about how oreos could save lives then all of a sudden I ended up here." Primadonna!Elsa gave a nonchalant wave to the area around her.

"A veritable primadonna, indeed," a melodious voice grumbled, and concept!Anna turned her head to see yet another Elsa standing there, the wind blowing dramatically at her black cloak; a porcelain theater mask covered her face.

Concept!Anna frowned, realization dawning upon her. _Hey! Where are all the Annas at? Where there's an Elsa, there should be an Anna nearby! In fact…_

Snapping her fingers as if that would summon another, she turned around, a grin forming on her face...only to find Gerda standing there with the rest of the let's-take-down-Nils party from eight paragraphs ago.

Swordmage!Elsa surveyed the group, and muttered, "Looks like we could use some help here," and flicked her wrist—in a flash of blue light two figures appeared: Anna wielding a longbow in matching leather armor, and Rapunzel wielding a warhammer in heavy full-body studded leather armor fashioned similarly to that of the sisters.

Victorian!Elsa sighed, muttering under her breath, "This is too much, even for me."

Amazon!Anna began, "Got a problem, miss fancy pants? My sister wouldn't have brought Rapunzel and I through the rift unless she thought we were needed."

"All we need is to break Nils' machine," science!Elsa explained as she stuffed her hands in the pocket of her lab coat, gazing up at the mountain's peak with a tired eye, "Don't be fooled by this talk of demon stuff, he's just a time traveler—well...inter-dimensional traveler by now, probably—who's picked up a few tricks along the way."

"Elsas, Elsas please can we all form up and—" Gerda snapped her head over to Concept!Anna with a look of pure rage, "ANNA WHAT DID I SAY OFF SCREEN WHILE ALL THE OTHER ELSAS WERE SHOWING UP? I SAID NO COOKIES."

About to chomp down on an oreo knight, Concept!Anna just about soiled herself at being caught in the act. She quickly chucked it behind her as far as she could and buried herself under a pile of snow. Curiously enough, she found Agdar the temporal fruit cat buried under there as well, having snuck on to the plot-important scene to get away from the lover's spat occurring back at the castle.

"Go find your own hiding spot!" he hissed, "This story's gone on for long enough, and I'll be damned if I get caught up in whatever crazy thing will occur on that peak!"

"Alright then, since I'm not sure how many more Elsas or Annas might show up, it's probably best that we move on before our progress is hindered further," Gerda said to anyone and to no one at the same time, because what the hell was even happening anymore.

It was that cat of course—if that cat hadn't shown up, none of them would've even been in this mess in the first place!

"Damn, this has turned into quite a party," Gerda heard an Anna say from behind her, and when she looked she saw that the others from their original group had FINALLY (it was about freaking time!) caught up to them.

"You certainly took your time getting here," Phantom!Elsa snidely remarked from behind her mask, pulling her black cloak closer around her as the others shook their heads disapprovingly at the original group.

"Yes… well," present!Anna's face flushed slightly, "Elsa and I were temporarily… _unavailable for consultation_."

"Frick frack," future!Anna deadpanned by way of explanation.

Ranger!Anna waved off the disapproving shaking of heads by the rest of them, conspiratorially adding, "Looks like it was their first time too, given Anna's embarrassment… _NONE_ of us can say much if that was the reason for their delay, now can we?" she concluded with a suggestive wink to her Swordmage sister.

More testicles.

"So… anyway," Future!Anna said slowly, polishing her sword and looking uncomfortable, because who wouldn't feel weird when testicles were just hanging in the air, "shall we go and defeat the gremlin responsible for this headache and be done with this?"

All who were present shouted in unison, "YES!"

And so, the company continued their march up the North Mountain. Well all except for one who lingered behind unnoticed…

"Crazy...They're all crazy, the lot of them!" Agdar grumbled to himself as he poked his head out from under the snow once the company had left, twisting his body to get out, only to hear the voice of yet another Elsa.

"My, my...what an interesting world my cat has brought me to," he heard her say as he slowly turned his head in her direction, chills creeping down his spine that didn't come from the snow around him. A different version of his daughter from another life stood there, her blonde hair streaked with black and a familiar black cat tucked in her arms; a mantle of what looked to be snowy stoats covering her shoulders and trailing down her back. Her lips curled into a wicked smirk as the cat meowed.

 _Oh no… oh no… not again…_ Agdar thought as he burrowed deeper under the snow.

Too late.

The evil Elsa nommed on some waffle fries. "Would you like some, father?" she asked, and the former king yelped as the snow spat him out, landing him in front of her. "Or, perhaps you'd rather _play_ with my cat?"

The cat burped unattractively in her arms.

Agdar went "D:", for he did not want to play with that cat at all.

"Hmmm, but does my cat want to play with you?" she purred out.

The cat sized Agdar up and snorted, "No."

"Listen up, you!" Agdar exclaimed, indignant at the rejection, "I'm technically _you_ from another timeline, so to reject me is to reject yourself!"

The cat hissed at him, followed by a low rumbling growl. It raised its paw and extended what would be considered the middle finger, aiming it at him.

"I know I'm a hypocrite, but there's no need to go that far," Agdar gave a hiss of his own, narrowing his eyes as his cat-like tendencies returned.

"Now, now… that's quite enough out of the both of you," Elsa scolded them. Her gaze followed the footprints leading up towards the mountain and she smirked, "Shall we join the party?"

Ain't no party like an evil party, after all.

* * *

Meanwhile, Swordmage!Elsa led the charge up the North Mountain to find Nils' lair. Future!Anna wasn't very thrilled about that, since she technically should have been the one to do so considering she was one of the first!

Present Anna glared at her, as if sensing the thought.

Cleric!Rapunzel seeing the tension, spoke to Future!Anna, "Look, yes, you're probably used to being the alpha where you're from… but, our Elsa knows what she's doing—and can back it up both with 'steel' and magic."

Scowling at the back of Swordmage!Elsa's head—which was RIDICULOUS, in a good way—Future!Anna grumbled under her breath, "I'll show her steel and magic…"

Meanwhile, Victorian!Elsa overtook them all with an ice slide a la Frozone, the icy sword in her hand crackling with lightning.

Ranger!Anna who had been scouting ahead, suddenly fell back, quietly conversing with the rest of her group, "Looks like it's just up over the ridge."

Present Elsa nodded an affirmative, "It's not too far away now."

Gerda called out to the group, "Ok, gather round everyone—the base has been found, we need to discuss strategy." As instructed, everyone swarmed around the servant and all of them at once started mouthing off what they thought should be done, and of course nobody could hear what anyone else was saying because there was too much going on. Her ears ringing from the cacophony enveloping her, Gerda bellowed, " _SILENCE_ …" waited a moment for them to finally quiet, then continued, "Ok, so who here has REAL battle experience, and of those, who has REAL tactical leadership experience?"

"Argh, I do!" A new but at the same time all too familiar voice piped up, and all heads turned to the newcomer expectantly— Pirate!Elsa, garbed in traditional pirate attire, flashed them all a gold toothy grin and tipped her hat to them.

Future!Anna sputtered in annoyance—while she was well versed in fighting, a tactical overview approach was not particularly her strong suit. No, she was more the type who went in sword swinging, and it must have been a pretty effective technique because it hadn't failed her yet! However, she was typically running in sword swinging on the front lines of an existing battlefield, not trying to sneak into an enemy base.

"I am never getting home at this point," someone mumbled off to Future!Anna's right. She looked over to see who was being so pessimistic and nearly had a nosebleed at the sight before her.

Towel!Elsa seemed to have given up all hope. How would anyone deduce that, you ask? Well, Towel!Elsa always has her towel but at this moment she's lying on her back in the snow, an arm draped over her face…

...naked.

And clearly the cold did bother her to some degree if the rigid tips of her North Mountains were of any indication.

"Oh sweet Skadi," concept!Anna breathed, her whole face a bright red as she stared unabashedly, "I'm going to hell—I must be going to hell with these thoughts _and is she supposed to be this hot?!_ "

Present!Anna, arms wrapped around the waist of Present!Elsa from behind, turned to concept!Anna—paying absolutely no heed to Towel!Elsa, as she had her own right there with her—and said, "Wait, you haven't _been with_ your Elsa?"

Concept!Anna spluttered, "I-I...Well you see," she paused, "it's just—I mean…" Trying to find her bearings, she began to pull at her hair in frustration. "Am I supposed to be _with_ my Elsa? I mean I had no idea we could coexist umm...like together. Like, have relations that is. Intimate relations."

Phantom!Elsa shook her head, her next words a bit muffled by her mask, "Oh, you sweet summer child…"

While the rest of the party was preoccupied with concept!Anna's discovery of her feelings for her sister, Victorian!Elsa and and science!Elsa continued up the peak of the mountain, eventually reaching the top where they found Nils standing there, silhouetted ominously by the glowing portal behind him. His appearance was unremarkable, like a background character, though he wore a lab coat similar to science!Elsa's.

Beside him stood future!Elsa, petting the black cat in her arms like the villain she was. Agdar sat next to her on the snowy ground, his hands and feet bound with icy manacles to prevent any chance of escaping.

"Huh...I never imagined it would be _you two_ who would be the ones present for the showdown," Agdar said, offering them both a tired smile—after all, he had tried to avoid the inevitable craziness that would soon follow. "I thought for sure it would be the main characters."

"Depends on what you consider a main character," science!Elsa spoke up, positioning her goggles back in its proper place on her face. Her hands, which had been covered in a pair of teal gloves, performed a series of gestures, activating the circuitry inside and causing glowing blue lines to appear along the material as her invention came to life. Frost formed on her fingertips and white vapor trails hovered around her hands from the sheer cold emanating from them.

Beside her, Victorian!Elsa brandished her icy sword, which still continued to crackle with lightning. "Shall we dance, other me?"

"Gladly."

And together, they charged forward.

* * *

The battle was epic, needless to say, and one worthy of legend—so, it defied all description. There was plenty of bubble gum involved, though…

"There are enough anachronisms here to make a historian faint tenfold," towel!Elsa sighed as the—now fashionably late—party took in what remained of the showdown they had missed.

"Damn it," Future!Anna swore, throwing her sword down in a fit, because she REALLY wanted to be part of the epic battle and she missed her chance.

"Like...I said…to them...earlier..." science!Elsa panted from where she was leaning on an equally-battered-looking Victorian!Elsa to support herself, throwing a grin at the others, "Depends...on what you...consider a...main character...and that...was us…"

Before Future!Anna could express her frustration further on the two Elsas who had snatched away her glory—the nerve of them!—her eyes shifted to the side and settled on a familiar figure slumped against the ground covered head to toe in pink, sticky goop with a different black cat perched on her back and she gasped in disbelief, "Elsa?"

Future!Elsa, black streaks gone from her platinum tresses, stammered out dazedly, "A-Ah-Anna? W-what… w-where… where are we?"

Instead of an answer, future!Anna simply swept her up into a tight hug, not caring about the stickiness of the gum. "I-I've missed you!" she shouted, blinking back tears despite her hardcore persona. "It's so good to see you back to normal Elsa…"

"I...I had the strangest dream," future!Elsa said, nuzzling her face into the crook of future!Anna's neck and smiling at the warmth of her dearest, "But everything's...fine now, right?"

"Yes, I think it is," she replied, then softly pressed her lips to Elsa's.

A sudden glow descended upon the peak of the North Mountain, and all of the alternate Elsas and Annas—as well as both Agdars—began to fade away in particles of light, returning to their own worlds.

Present Elsa and Anna and Gerda were the only remaining persons left once everyone else disappeared, and the trusty servant sighed with exhaustion from the craziness of the whole thing and said, "Finally, it's over…"

Once, in every story, there is a scene where the characters dramatically walk off into the sunset, cueing the credits to roll...and this story is no exception, as they did just that.

 **THE END**

 **…** **or IS it?**

Back at the castle, a certain maid paused in her cleaning, glaring in the direction of the North Mountain, where the main characters had made their stand.

And envy curled tightly around her heart.

 **THE END**

 **For real this time.**

 **So go and read something else now, ya crazy kids.**


End file.
